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23 August 2009

23/08/09

Emotions are vague. A smile could mean happiness and a mask over despair. Tears could portray joy and also grief. If emotions are this dubious, what's the point of it in the end? Would we be able to clearly distinguish true emotions? Tears of joy or grief? A precious smile of happiness and relief or a mask pulled over the pit of sadness?

21 August 2009

21/08/09

We always hear people say "don't expect anything in return" when we lend a hand to those in needs.. Of course, we tend to lean upon greed sometimes and eventhough it says no we dont expect anything, it doesn't in our hearts. What's the cost of a person to be able to bear with all these? Selflessness? Sincerity? Love? Would it be right to say that a person would not expect anything in return if he was to be selfless? Or by doing it through pure sincerity or love? Life is meant to be enjoyed, not lived in misery. It is very important for us to appreciate what is given to us. Regardless of what has been there for us, what has been done for us, what has been insufficient for us and what had happened to us. I'd plead to actually put into thoughts,

What if you never had ur family to start with?
What if our parents never taught and nurtured us?
What if whatever we have that was thought to be insufficient for us was not even there?
What if whatever that has mould us into people today never happened?

If we could at least treasure entities, moments, thoughts, and sacrifices, wouldn't the world be a brighter and better place to live in? Of course, not all of us are witty enough to see things in a way that we should appreciate it. But we can at the very least, appreciate the people around us for starters. Then, to move on to things that people have done for us in or lives that has moulded us into better people. And wouldn't it be nice if it was to be a cycle where i'd do good to u, u'd do good to me. Wouldn't the world be such pleasure?

out of mood. till next time.

28 July 2009

28/7/09

hello. i've been busy suppressing my laziness in blogging and busy with college. Life's average. And i've got nothing to share at the moment. Live well.

P/s: Stand strong.. I know u'll be able to endure through all this and be a much better and wiser person after all these. We're all here for you so don't hesitate to split the burden. We'll carry it along with you. I know life has been very exhausing and draining but nevertheless, keep ur head up and endure. We'll watch ur back for you and if you ever stumble, we're all around you to support you. Stand strong.

26 July 2009

Eugene is busy for some time!

Hello people =)
dont be shocked, im not Eugene =D
i'm one of his college friend, Shi Man..
he is currently busy and couldnt update for some time..
so, yeahh.. im here updating for his blog to entertain the readers which is you =D
.
.
so, let starts with "About Eugene"
this is based on how much i know him until now =D
basically I knew him since May this year
we are in the same course, Monash Uni Foundation Year [[MUFY]] as u all know
first impression towards him was.. urr.. he was freaking quiet
always sitting alone and doesnt interact with anyone in the class
we were in the same account and fun.maths class last sem..
yet, we didnt know or talk to each other until his friend, Joe Yee joined in
i thought they were both boyf and girlf as they were damn close together
he even carry Joe Yee's stuff everyday
"bullied" by Joe Yee.. xD
until one day, Joe Yee and him joined us for lunch
that was the first day we kinda talk to each other..
since then, we always go lunch together with the other friends also..
i was pretty curious and i asked Jessica, are they couple ( Joe Yee and Eugene )
and she said no.. then, i went and ask Joe Yee.. "why u and Eugene so close wan ah?"
she answered me that they were high school mates ! LOL..
i know im dumb to ask this question xD
ngekk.. and we actually chat together in MSN.. with a bunch of people
boom-ing our friend, Li Fan.. and so on
and i know when he talks to Li Fan, he will get high blood pressure and stress out
so, people.. careful ya xD
dun make him faint =Pp
after that.. we started talking more during Malaysian studies..
as we both were in the same group..
one word can describe him during the assignments
A VERY RELIABLE PERSON! yeapp..
and somehow.. when i was facing some problems..
he is always there when i need some help
he really concern about his friend
and he never leaves his friend alone xD
.
.
conclusion,
he is caring, kind and nice friend
he never fail to cheer people up
he concern about his friend
a good friend to count on
a very loyal friend to be
a good counselor xD
and of course, A VERY BEST FRIEND OF MINE.!
.
.
finally.. i wana show my gratitude lahh!!
Best Friend,
thanks for being there for me to cheer me up
to lend ur ears listening to my problems
giving me some advices..
thanks for carrying some burdens of mine
and sorry for all the troubles i've given u
last but not least.. thanks for everything u have done for me, lately
THANK YOU, BEST FRIEND!
.

better dont delete this post, or else i will kill u
no erasing or deleting.. i warn u! xD

01 July 2009

1/07/09

Happy 1st of July.

Let's do something pointless.


What charm do u have?

From what I've thought over, there are a few types of charms ;) Beauty Friendliness Kind&Caring Talent Intelligence.

The Beauty often charms, of course, through charisma.
The Friendly Mate.charms, as one who is reliable and sociable.
The Kind & Caring Soul. Often caring, thoughtful and loving.
The Talented One. Usually impresses through talents in many different fields.
The Intelligent One. Almost always, charms with the brain full with knowledge.



I'm currently having my last few days of holidays before i start mugging again for my 2nd semester. And of course, i'm rotting at home with nothing else to do but staring at the computer screen and warming my butt on the computer chair. Wake up, text, brekafast, text, computer, text, computer, text, lunch, text, computer, text, walk around the house, text, dinner, text, computer, text, and fall sick is my dailt routine. I'm in a great need of adventure and something to do. Went to ampang point i think 2 weeks ago and i was too lazy to update my blog but here's a picture of it.




KL city view from Menara Tinjau.

And i went to that place again 2 days ago with shi man to test-drive the road so we could bring the rest there next time. We left at 3 and I expected to get lost but fortunately and unfortunately we didn't. Fortunately we didn't but unfortunately, we had to spend the time that i spared for getting lost there. We reached at approx 4 and unbelievably, rot there till 8. No good pics on that day. I've not been doing anything yesterday and have yet to think of anything to do for today and the rest of my holidays. Spare me. I'm dying of boredom. Signing out...

17 June 2009

17/06/09

hello once again.

it has been 6 months plus since the start of the year and time flew. and now since i'm bored, i would like to review my pass 6 months.

Warning: Its gonna be long

December-January

i could remember how emo i was on the day i left for NS. i woke up early, did last minute check and gave a last stare to everything i could before stepping out for a month plus before CNY starts. It was awfully saddening at that time. So i left with my family, went and pick xianjin and joeyee up as they wanted to wave us, the NS-ers goodbye. After picking the 2, we left for dimsum breakfast at usj9 with my frownish look. My parents ordered many favoured dishes of mine but i had the least appetite among all. After breakfast and off we left to Shah Alam Stadium. We reached the stadium and got off the car, looking for other NS-ers. After gathering and chatting for a moment, we gave our last greets and byes. The bus left, as i bid my family and friends goodbye. While i was in NS, i tried my very best to find as many work as i could to get my mind off my family. Immediately on the second day i volunteered for a job at the store. Well, i could say it really helped. I got homesickness off my mind and just worked my butt off. After 2 weeks, my family came and visited me at camp. I miss them. 17th January, fell sick with high fever after overworking myself under the hot weather. Got quarantined at the medic. I would like to personally thank Guin, Max and Yau for visiting me at the quarantine to check on me. I was like a dead man then. Parents came on 18th to visit me. They brought McD and stayed from 10 till 2+. And they left, my mum cried coz she was so worried. I, tear-ed after hearing her sobbings outside. 23rd January, a butthole threatened me that he would come looking for me during CNY to beat me up because i reported his wrong doings and on that evening itself i reported it to the head trainer and he got his butthole whooped and his face punched by the head trainer. 24th January was open day for the camp and after the function, i left, for CNY at ipoh. I got up the car and said, "1 month din sit car". When we reached my grandma's house, i got off the car, with my shades on. Everyone greeted the NS man as i walked in the house. It was very welcoming.

1 month no hot shower
1 month no home food
1 month no sit car
1 month no TV
1 month no air cond

what a spoilt brat.

February

I spent my last few days at home. Appreciating what i have back at home. And on the last day at home, i emo-ed again. The journey back to camp was bitter. I dreaded every step i took into the camp.bid my family bye and back to NS life. On that day itself, i was waiting for Yau and Guin to return to camp. I texted Guin to ask where he is so that i've got time to prepare the red carpet upon his arrival. And when he arrived, Joey shouted "EUGENE!! WHERE IS MY RED CARPET!!!" Sweet ol' days. Life continues with this month's harsh and tough training. Trainers pushed us, leaders even more to do our work and to discipline us. We get scoldings every 2-3 days at night and only go to bed after 12. Did many activies and got "married" to Joey as part of an activity to show traditional chinese marriage. Celebrated valentine in NS, pathetic.

March

As the days passed we all counted down the days left till we leave camp, 11th march. by the 4th of March, we were talking about how many days there were left as we bathed at night.

"few more days and HOT SHOWER!!"
"few more days got air cond!"
"few more days as my bed calls~~"
and some even said
"few more days can see my chick!"
those were the days.

10 March was the day of our closing. We had performances, i led a contigent of trainees. Performances like martial arts, marching, aerobics, flying fox and the american wave. It all ended with our graduation "jump" as we flung our berets into the empty sky altogether. The field was filled with smiles and laughters. At night, we had a function to bid each other farewell. Joey and Nicole had a crisis that night. They lost their "ticket" to leave the camp. So i ran all over camp to look for the commanden's signature. Ran here and there and finally got the signature. Then attended resignation ceremony. The commanden removed our posts and the crowd gave us a salutation. I held tears, after all the hard work done aside from feeling relieved that we've gone this far. Worked my butt off for the last time for the night till 2am, bathed and slept at 3am. Woke up at 4.30am on 11 of March. Finished my last packings. Before we left, we shook hands and hugged. I'll never forget u guys, Max, Guin, Yau, Joey and Steph. and that was the end of NS.

After relaxing for a week, i started college with no one i know in my course, MUFY. A week later i think, JoeYee joined me and through her i made many friends. One of them, Ivy, asked why didn't i change class coz i was waiting for joeyee everyday after my class, outside her class. She thought i was Joeyee's boyfren which i'm not. Then, i made more friends, Syntiea, Jessica, Chiew Xuan, Wee Ni, Shi Man, Hon Weng, Er Kid, Tzuoo, Li Fan, Yee Hao and so on. I honestly wouldn't have met most of them. Not without JoeYee. Thanks.

Shortening the post,

June.

Its the middle of the year, and i'm missing my friends. Kevin and the gang, Max, Guin, Yau, Joey, Steph.. I wanna meet u people. Sighs. Busy with assignment lately. Everyday reach home at 5.30 dropping dead on the floor until late 8. Life is tiring now.

..u!ebe a^ol u! uallet a^,! pue

-End of Review-




10 June 2009

10 / 06 / 09

hello. life has never been boring-er than it is lately. and since i'm taking malaysian studies in college now, i waste 3 hours of my daily life in college looking at ppl playing dota, o2jam and chor dai dee in class. whats more when the teacher shows us videos of our independence day. its killing all of us.

so, today i drove to college :D i'm so proud of myself that i didn't kill myself and joeyee.left home at 8.20 to picked joeyee, rammed through a jam at summit and finally reached college at 9. meet up with shi man and horny weng and off we left for the class. we sat, played cards and waited for teacher to come in. after the teacher barged through the door, lesson started with independence day video. "merdeka merdeka merdeka merdeka merdeka merdeka merdeka", went Tunku Abdul Rahman. lesson continued as we dreaded for the break to leave for pyramid. the lecturer mumbled and mumbled as we stared at our watches, blabbering away and looking at each other doze off in class. finally as she announced "BREAK TIME!", we,

ME
JOEYEE
IVY
SHI MAN
HORNY WENG
JESSICA
CHIEW XUAN
WEENI
LYNN
LI FAN


all packed up and ran for it like sleepy mummies craving for sleep in the pyramid's coffin. i'm so good at similes'. i drove to pyramid as well :D i was worried whether my passengers, ivy, joeyee, chiewxuan and weeni had insurances. anyway, we reached pyramid safely with no scratches and dents on the car. got down, hit gasonline and filled our growling stomachs. after meal, i called the bill for my table and paid it 1st. it was RM82.50 and i gave RM100.50. my meal was RM13.80. When the change came back, they gave a RM30 balance and a different receipt than it was before. As i walked to the counter and suggested to the people that i shud return it, they pulled me away. what a bunch of honest kids. so, my meal which was suppose to cost 13 worthful bucks was "discounted" to RM1+. :D and after that we went to AmpSquare to crack and lose our voices. They picked songs, and the ball rolls. Everyone was SCREAMING AND YELLING AND SHOUTING AND DOING EVERYTHING SCREECHY BUT SINGING. i finally left the "rock concert" with joeyee at 4.30 for her frisbee training. dropped her home, drove back home and thanked god i'm alive.

life in that section is alright. in another, it sucks. sighs. again. till next time.

31 May 2009

rotting at home sucks

1. Besides your lips , where is the favourite spot to get kissed ?
Cheeks.

2. How did you feel when you woke up this morning ?
Budged. WTH?! Who texted me?! -_-

3. Who was the last person / people you took a photo with ?
I take pictures. I am seldom in pictures so i dont remember.

4. Would you consider yourself spoiled?
A littttttttttttttle bit lah

5. Will you ever donate blood ?
Yes

6. Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex ?
Many

7. Do you want someone to be dead ?
No

8. What does your last text message say ?
"Try la zz.. Pls -_-" lolwth

9. What are you thinking right now ?
I WANT TO GO OUT INSTEAD OF ROTTING AT HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS

1o. Do you want someone to be with you right now ?
Yes

11. What was the time you went to bed last night ?
4.45AM

12. Where did you buy the tee you are wearing now ?
Mount Tahan lolwth

13. Is someone on your mind right now ?
Yea

14. Who was the last person who text you ?
Shi Mun

TEN Lucky Person to do this quiz...
1. Ken
2. Danker
3. Kar Yan
4. Barry
5. Hongie
6. Wee Ni
7. Mei Xin
8. Kar Weng
9. KayChoong
10.Prudence

dam i took 10mins to think of tat list

15. Who is no.2 having a relationship with?
I need to know!

16. Is no.3 a male or a female ?
Female

17. If no.7 and no.1 get together , would it be a good?
Erm.. Probable. :D

18. What is no.1 studying about ?
Bikes? Cars?

20.Is no.4 single ?
No :D

21. Say something about no.2 .
He's someone i can work very well with :) i miss u dude.

22. What do you think about no.3 & no.6 being together ?
Impossible. They dont know each other :O

23. Describe no.9 .
My primary schoolmate since i was 7. And i'm still seeing her :D

24. What will you do if no.6 and no.7 fight ?
Impossible.

25. Do you like 8 ?
Yea smexx

18 May 2009

Love Story & Viva La Vida

In short, i was busy =/

Having exams lately, which is every week. Today i screwed up my English mock test at 3.45pm due to severe brain damage after being in college for 7 hours plus. I cant take it. I screwed up the paper. =/ Life has been boring. Semester finals are next week and I'm slack-ier than a bear. And I've got exam again tmr. Greattt. Share this with u ppl and off i go.

02 May 2009

Common post

Hi again ppl. I would like to share with you pictures of my new baby :D


Behold.



Canon

55~250mm
f/4-5.6 IS

My newest baby for RM899 :D



Costed my dad a fortune. Thanks dad.



Life has been fine lately. Occupied with exams weekly and I've got another next week. Sighs. I'm so desperate for a holiday break. =/ Breaks between classes are too short, there isn't even enough for short chats :( Here's a picture of lunch together with college-mates.











Went out at 9am today to downtown. There were so much time in the car, on the way there. Many things flew pass my mind. Friends, NS friends, NS and the list goes on. I gotta go out more often. More time to do some thinking.. =] Had breakfast at krispy-kreme :D doughnuts and ice chocolate for breakfast =/







Then took a walk at Sungei Wang, Lowyat Plaza and TimeSquare. We finally stopped at Sungei Wang at 1pm to look for my baby. Reached home at 2+ and rot on computer since then until dinner and continued after dinner till now, 2am..


*I'm sorry about the message that worsen things. I'm just very particular about being punctual. I got worked up because of it and whats more, being ffk-ed at the last minute, repeatedly and by the same person. Its very unreasonable if u'd ask me. And its unfair. Sorry.


Signing out, till next time.

28 April 2009

Common post

Hi ppl and how are u? I'm so fine here that I'm having exams tmr and thursday. And again, life shucks. My days have not been very pleasing. I just feel..... dull. = =

Mondays
7.20 leave for college, pick joeyee and xianjin
8.00 reach college, rot at foyer
8.20 go up for class
8.30 English class
9.40 leave English class go for Accounts class
9.45 Accounts class
11.00 Lunch Break
12.00 Walk back to college
12.15 Fundamental maths class
13.30 English class AGAIN
14.45 END CLASS
XX.XX rot to death until I find a transport home.

My life in college is pretty monotonous so i won't bother sharing about lettuceday, weddingday, turdday, and friedday.

Damn I need something more challenging in life. Something more fascinating. Something more fabulous. Something more... FUN :D Damn this is bored. I need a girlfriend :P
ah shucks. let me share with you pictures I've taken during frisbee training last week =/







Signing out.
Boring Days.


19 April 2009

Common post

Hi people. I've been very busy with college lately =/ Everyweek got test omgwth. Topical test, oral presentation, listening test, assignments, and tests again.. ._. Life sucks lately.. I've been thinking a lot about everything there is to think. Family, friendships, studies, life, and the list goes on. Sighs. I'm not being paranoid. It's something i need to think about. Something i care for.

Tonight I'm gonna introduce to u people out there, the 2 items that I treasure and means a lot to me. =/




This is a ribbon/string that me and my buddies from school possess. To me, it represents friendship that have brought me through a long way during my schooling days. The days we missed class together, slack together, work together, laugh and cry together, scout together, prefects together, and most of all, the days i'll never forget.

You guys are always in my heart.



A bracelet. Self-made by me for my friends at NS. For the obvious reasons, we went through that shitty place together, we strived through together, we suffered together, and we got over it all together. It brought back lots of memory when i strolled through the pictures we took at NS together and when i saw a few of us wore it. Max, Yau, Guin, Joey, thank you, all of you.


All of you have played a very important role in different chapters of my life. Thank you to all of you for the magnificent rainbow that you guys have painted in my life.

Thank you very much..


Taggggg:

Kenneth
XianJin
Chris Felix
KarYan
Nikki


13 April 2009

...sa!Jowaw

Have you ever felt no matter how hard you try to do something but the fruit u always wanted always never came?
Have you ever felt, after all those sweat and blood you've put into doing things, nothing seem to get better or nothing goes the way you want them to?
Have you ever felt, all those effort poured, not being appreciated and everything you do is just never enough?
Have you ever thought, how important a person can be to you, but how insignificant you are to them?

I'm going through 4th week of coll now. Sat for 3 exams, this Friday would be my 4th. It doesn't sucks as much as it sounds though. Went to Sunway Lagoon last Saturday with NS buddies. We swam, we chat, we ate, we ran around. Yau, Joey, WaiTheng, and I.. Well, I'd admit i had a great time there. It has been 1 month since i met them =/ NS friendship.. Something i treasure very much. We went through that shitty place all together and I will never forget how much we helped each other through it. *emo*



I'm trying very hard to get you off my mind. I thought i could, after getting myself busy with college and my life. I really thought i could, until we met again. When we had a great time together, not knowing how much u meant to me. I've tried very hard, but I've not been getting the fruit i want. Maybe its just never enough, or maybe its not a big deal to you. But, I'll never forget, those halcyon days. Carpe diem.




Di sini jua,
memori tercipta,
walau seketika,
terjalin kasih kita.

mungkin di sini,
kitakan berpisah,
kenangan bersama,
tiada kulupa.

-Memori Tercipta-

ps: Happy Bday WenKai, 14April2009.

06 April 2009

Common post

Heys. Jz stopping by. It has been fine lately ;D Went out with Brother Kevin, Sis XJ, Cucu Tine, Ahgirl Suiyin, KarWeng, Tharsh and SuHui last saturday. Went to pyramid at 2 and gaigai till 7 and we went for Fast and Furious 4! The show was great. Instead of cars being the story, it was something else :D Watch it people! No regrets! After movie at about 9 kev, xj, tine and i left for bak kut teh at ss14. We ate and chatted and ate and chatted about almost everything we could :D Guys we nid to do that more :D bonding. bak kut teh. bonding. bak kut teh. :D:D

Fell sick today. cough and flu. Flu coz slept late. Stayed up with joeyee to learn mandarin! :D and help her out with her oral presentation power point.. Cough was since when i was weeks before NS ended. So ironic. Stupid cough. Oral presentation this coming Thursday. Ahems.

Goooood Evening ladies and gentlemen, tonight i'm gonna talk about ways to support Earth hour!

sucks. signing out. =/

miss u girl.

30 March 2009

Life shucks lately

Hi again people. I'll talk more about myself =/ I hosted a pot-luck dinner last saturday. Invited many over..

Kevin
Kenneth
Barry
Justine
JoeYee
Jezri
SisXJ - went back hometown
Ahgirl SuiYin - Hometown =.=
Jeremy - TGI waiter ="=
Tharsh - Uncle's potluck (wtf -.- so coincident)

I didn't do much preparations for da potluck.. It was potluck what was there to prepare anyway -_- I was suppose to go out to shop with Kevin at 4pm for plastic cups and plates so tat we could dine together in the dark, celebrating Earth Hour. Things didn't turn out well though.

Kevin didn't turn up due very reasonable reasons i say. We waited till 6pm for his car to come back to his hands and it didn't so i had to ask my dad to stop by at Giant to buy the stuffs. Next was scolding from my mother coz she offered to bring me out instead of waiting for Kevin. Honestly, I chose not to coz I trust tat Kevin could come even at the last minute =/ But buddy, I dont blame u. Some females can be real vengeful. =/ Got scoldings after scoldings, then they finally arrived. :D Kenneth came 1st coz he didn't want me to be alone xD After JoeYee, Cucu Tine and Barry, WE WAITED FOR EVERYONE ELSE TILL 8.20PM BEFORE WE GAVE UP WAITING AND WE DINED :D There were:

1- Pizza -mine
2- Speketi XD -cucu Tine

3- omgwth BIG banana -Barry
4- Seaweeds and junks -Kenneth)
5- Satay - Cynthia i think =/ (Nikki's friend
)

I CANT REMEMBER ANYMORE! SORRY!

Got scolded again tat time.. "Cut the pizza!" "Serve your friends!" "Put those ices in the cup!" "You're the host so u're suppose to be doing all these! Sighs.. Big quarrel with family..

-Kevin
Pls dont do stupid things like the sms u sent ever again. You freaked ALL of us out. Barry came up with ideas like ur phone being snatched by ppl.. Others were dead worried. Dont. You bastard dont ever do tat again -_-

Woke up at 3pm on sunday.. Didn't say a word to the world.. Except answering Kevin's apology through phonecall.. Bad days.. Nothing else for now. Too much to whine and complain..

"You can use all your finite energy, effort and time and use it complaining and whining or u can play the game hard" - Late Dr. Randy Pausch

It sucks to miss someone.. sighs. Miss you very much, hope you're doing fine there with ur education plannings. "Wo hui deng ni"..

24 March 2009

The Last Lecture

Hi people. Today's college was fine. I got to listen to one of da most inspiring and saddening lecture in my life which is by Randy Pausch, entitled The Last Lecture. Randy is a university lecturer who is having pancreatic cancer and has spreaded all over. A last lecture is a hypothetical (if there was a situation) lecture that a person gives if it were his last lecture. The topic of the lecture is "How to live life". These are the few things i would like to highlight from the lecture, to u guys out there:


  1. Anything is possible. We should never lose that spirit.
  2. Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
  3. Have a sense of fun that should never go away.
  4. Never underestimate the importance of having fun.
  5. One has to live with integrity to work and play well with others.
  6. 3 parts of a good apology: A)I'm sorry B) It was my fault C) How do i make it right?
  7. No one is pure evil. If you wait long enough, they will show their good side.
  8. You can choose to take ur finite time, energy and effoty and spend it complaining or you can spend it playing the game hard.
  9. If you live the right way, the karma will take care of itself. And then the dreams will come to u.
Those were partly the contents of his lecture. I can't really upload the video here so watch it urselves here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9ya9BXClRw


People, appreciate life. Learn to appreciate. Learn to forgive. Learn to apologise. Instead of using up ur time complaining and whining, use the time to find a solution to the problem. Complaining takes u no where. Live life to the fullest.

"Learning to learn" - Ahgirl, SingSuiYin

I hope this video was motivational and inspired u guys out there.

22 March 2009

Halcyon Days

1st Lady-Never Be Replaced


Baby I love you and i'll never let you go
But if I have to boy I think that you should know
All the love we make can never be erase
And i promise you that you will never be replaced
Baby I love you and I'll never let you go
But if I have to boy I think that you should know
All the love we make can never be erase
And i promise you that you will never be replaced


I've not blogged for a year and i don't remember how to blog now. =.= Keeping it short, college starts tmr. Sighs. My dad looks forward to it more than i do .__." Nothing much for now. Will update more later.



18 March 2009

Appreciate

This was her last chance. She took a look around her. The trees were swaying softly in the ocean breeze. The gentle wind rustled through their lush foliage, sharing secrets of the world and its beautiful mysteries. The calm and serenity seem to infiltrate every one of her senses but it could not reach deep enough to calm her racing heart and her pounding mind. Her limbs relaxed and the tension in her muscles eased but she could still hear the gears in her mind clicking away and the pounding of her heart in the cool, still dawn.

The world was waking up; the birds were calling out to one another, sharing cheery conversations. The grass, giving out the wonderful scent, filled the place with the smell of spring, a fresh new smell, the smell of a new start.

But as cheerful as the day may seem; she knew deep down that these were all just a veneer beneath the pain that was to come, beneath the end that was inevitable. And thinking about it broke her heart, it broke her soul.


Today was her last; she was eager to jump on every opportunity to savour this day. It may not necessarily be her last that was what the doctor said, but deep down she knew that her time was up and she tried her best to seize each day with its every little detail no matter how insignificant they might seem. She held on to every ounce of her failing strength with a ferocity that was both frightening and amazing to witness.

She had used to take every day for granted; she used to take the serenity around her for granted. She had thought that the birds would always be there when she awoke, that she would see the sun as she opened her eyes. But now all had changed, she wasn't even sure if she could wake up at all.

Her mother used to whisper in her ear, bending down to kiss her forehead as she lay in her bed, telling her gently, "Seize the day, my child. For you will never know what might come in your way in the future." She still remembered it so clearly, the soft skin of her mother, the gentle warmth in her eyes and the farmiliar loving touch of her mother.

She did not use to live her life to the fullest, to live each day to its best. But now, as she faced with what was to come, she finally understood, without a doubt, what her mothe rmeant to seize each and every day as it came.

The cancer was eating away at her, slowly and painfully. Though somehow, the heartache that she felt was more overwhelming than the physical pain she was feeling. For during this period of time where she needed her love the most, he chose to left her. Yes, he left her.

She heard those heartbreaking words left her lover's lips. His lips that once used to kiss and heal all her wounds, now hurting her so badly. She did not know what was the reason but he said he wanted to be with God more than he wanted to be with her. It cut her real deep.

To her, it was like a rude slap to her cheek. It stung her real deep and it felt like her whole world was crumbling, leaving her alone to pick up the debris, the pieces of the huge mess. And there was nothing she could do but to live on her remaining days like her mother told her to.

"Carpe Diem". She thought she heard her mother's sweet voice again. But she knew it was impossible as her mother has been watching over her for the pass few days from above.

She looked out to the sky. The sun was rising steadily, the trees swaying and the waves crashing upon the shore. She could feel her strength draining. And the deep dark abyss seem to call for her. But amidst all this, all she could think of was her love. She wanted one last touch, one last kiss but she knew she would never have it.

"I tried my very best to seize each and every day mama. And i know you will be proud of me. But i failed to keep my love." At that moment, rivulets of tears glistened her cheeks, blurring her vision. She could feel the dark abyss pulling her away.

Her thoughts drifted away and her heartbeat slowed down for the first time in so many months, bringing a calm that was so reassuring.

As her vision dimmed, she thought she saw his face. She could smell the unmistakable smell of his cologne, mixed with the smell of spring, the smell of a new beginning.

By and by as she fell into the dark abyss, she thought she heard him say, "I never should have left you darling.. I love y-"

-Carpe Diem-

We should appreciate every little thing we have. The people around us, gifts, blessings, curse, opportunities and chances. Not all people in the world are as fortunate as we are. We can be so broke and holed in our pockets but there are people who are broke, holed and still having loans to pay. Appreciate what we all have and live life to the fullest. Its not as bad as it looks. Appreciate chances. They dont come by easily.

Imagine if everyone could at least appreciate 1 extra thing in their life everyday. For example, for once maybe, just sit quietly and do some deep thinking. "Thank God that i've got such a luxurious meal for lunch today". As simple as that. Appreciating is important. If a person is able to appreciate things more, he/she will regret over lesser things in the future.

Learn to appreciate, Appreciate to learn.